Everyone eeps telling me that he loves me and he did miss me but it doesnt feel like it. Find reliable childcare Getting childcare is one of the toughest aspects of going back to work. Not all babies become this sensitive, and it does seem as if your daughter is feeling quite secure. I dont usually do online chatting, but I needed to get this off my chest. When I pick her up from her caregivers house after work, I am so excited because I count down the minutes until I see my precious baby only to get her in my arms and have her reach out for her caregiver. Now, my son doesnt seem to even want me in the room with him any more. for a couple of hours, she just hugged me while eyeing him and after accepting the fact that daddy was really there in person, she just went 2 daddy like he never left. This time is so precious and so short. My gal is nw 8 1/2 mths . Your toddler has been used to having mom all to themselves. Daddy is a play toy and thinks he comes and goes and is fun, but deep down I know she loves me and cant live without me. If i let her have her way, ill never get to be with her because she never wants me. Bonding can start at any time, even at 15 months old, even though it can take a bit longer to establish at that point. But if grandma or grandpa or daddy was her he would def go with one of them instead of me! Im in a bit of a no win situation here, I am expecting my first child with my partner, he has a daughter by a previous marriage , my job requires me to work out of the country for 4 weeks then I get 4 weeks off at home and so on. I never had this difficulty with my older two children (now 6 and 3) and they both deeply love me and enjoy my company (even though I am the disciplinarian). Just ask her to really try not to show her emotions to your daughter, but rather focus on having a good time with her when you are not around that will certainly build on their relationship for the coming years. If I am not around she is fine with her mom to an extent but still keeps pestering her mom wanting dad to come home and do things. My son is 9 months old and , Ive always taken care of him feed, everything he needs Ive been by his side since we left the hospital, now that I moved to another state he doesnt call me momma anymore he calls it to his grandma he just doesnt seem to need me anymore . That way, you will keep making enough milk and will be less likely to get plugged ducts or engorged breasts. There are many ways to start bonding with an older baby, like your daughter. Im starting to worry about the mother. But doesnt mean that you should just sit and wait! I breastfed for the first four months, and we definitely bonded. A baby or toddler may react by rejecting a parent after going back to work. You are not the only mother this has happened to. It is a short time when our children really need us as badly as when they are babies and young toddlers. Tips for Going Back to Work After Baby and Easing into a Routine. yes its also my in-laws first grand child but at times i feel there are selffish. His dad loves him but truly has done 15% of all that I do for the baby (feed, clean, entertain, The answer is yes, although breastfeeding after returning to work is definitely trickier in some situations. My 9 month old baby seems to get attached to everyone and any one. She adores me but her daddy not so much. what you said makes perfect sense. we spend so much time with our babies, i think its natural for them to pick up on our vibe. That's where you come to her rescue and change all that with this gift for a mom going back to work. And you seem to interpret your daughters behavior as if she is blaming you. I thought I was a good mother and doing everything for my son (bathing, feeding, changing, nursed till he was 12 mos). If anything, it will harm the situation more. I dont know why she it is getting upset at me and no one else. You may express breast milk so that others can feed your baby. You ask about the girl not wanting to talk to mom on the phone. I nursed him up until a month ago. Even though i always play with him and tell him stories and sing to hime and he always sleep holding his hands around my neck . But he just doesnt seem to need me. I love my child more than anything in the world and I hope that she knows it. Let's look at why a baby rejects mom after going back to work, and some helpful tips on what to do about it! Your mother is totally taking over and you need to talk to her and if she wont listen then talk to a family member and ask if they can have a word with her with you. it was really a funny yet a touching experience for us. Im a Dad, I work full time and Im home by 6pm most evenings. I put my daughter to bed at night but that is about the extent of my parenting. If I dont seek her out, we dont hear from her Ive often wondered what happened. Now we could see how confident our baby girl has turned out 2 be. Like many of you, I am a working mother who loves her baby girl more than anything in the world. I have a 16 or 17 month cousin, but she calls me Mom! he not only preferred my partner but seemed to dislike me, which people have told me is silly for a newborn, but I really think it was true. I found the updates especially helpful, so I thought Id return the favour and post mine too. They can also act very competitive towards the parent of the same gender. Seems it starts around this age. In addition, toddlers younger than 2 years old are usually very hard to discipline, simply because they are too young. I am a dad in the same boat. Do a couple of test runs before going back to work after baby. Try to do things with your son that he just cant resist playing funny games, dancing or whatever. Please help me!! should i stop my caregiver from sleeping next to her to maybe stop them from being too close? Hi i have been a stay at home mom since my 3 year old was born, but now my 17 month old son seems to not want me or love me. You might feel really, really sad about going back to work, but you might also feel really excited. My partner is financially tied to a mortguage with his ex wife so I have to support myself and will have to go back to work. she sees her dad may be once or twice a months. Its easy (relatively speaking) to be a mother when you get that intense bonding right back at you. I know that very well! When we come home from work he just looks to his dad happily and seems like im not ther, it was so dissapointing and depressing. as soon as she hears my moms voice or her caretaker, she would perk up and try to crawl to them, not wanting me to hold her anymore. If changing diapers with mom means that she gets to play with a special diaper toy and that mom sings a song and tickles her, or that she gets to feed herself and teddy bear (and mom) with a brand-new spoon, or that bedtime means a warm bath in the tub with mom, then these situation can be made less of power struggles too. By Alice Gibbs On 6/23/22 at 12:17 PM EDT. Very scary! And I was the one at home. No phone, no talking to your wife, no planning of the next day at work. Many parents do just the opposite, scheduling an early afternoon nap so that baby will go to bed early, leaving more couple-time in the evening. Im a stay at home mom and spend pretty much all my time with her. If it is new, I dont think you need to worry very much; it will pass. I breastfeed and she doesnt like when I look at her or she will fuss again. youre missing out, and so is your baby. Ive been really upset about in the last few days, crying about it and even getting cross about it. It will pass. Sometimes she does it to my partner but seems only to attack me more. ), Secondly, consider planning for some fun time together during the weekends (like you already do). nw i think my gal dun wants me . He cries when I try to do anything for him and wont look at me. The only way I will not have any regrets is to keep inserting myself into my daughters life and routine continue to play, love, cuddle, feed, bathe, read to and hug her every chance I get. I sing endless versions of Wheels on the Bus, and a million other things. Since you live with your parents, your situation is quite similar to that of all dads (usually), who work and come home, only to find that their child prefers mom, who is around all the time. You are and always will be their only mother. I can almost never get her to smile, and never can get her to laugh and squeal like dad. You sound like you are in very bad emotional shape. Thank you thank you thank you!! Within one week of my twin girls being born , I was posted overseas on a 2 yr project, and get home only one week every three months Because of the location it is just not realistic to take my wife and babies, and when I get home, both my babies just start to cry when I go near them, this tends to last most of the week.. Apart from leaving my job, is there any advice you can give me. Usually at this age, making sure that your child isnt doing anything dangerous (swallowing things, climbing too high, running out in the street, biting himself or other children et cetera) is more or less enough as an ambition. Third, it gives you a possibility to do something else than taking care of your daughter. I have to also remind myself daily that this was for the love of God that I had this child. I want to know if there are commonalities that us moms share. Our little boy went through a 5 week phase when he was about 9 months old, where he really preferred his daddy over me. i feeed her ok but after a feed she now just turns over away from me. Try the sleep and switch. She wants me over anybody except when they are around. Please help what could it be if ive been such a great mommy to him super lovable!! A baby or toddler may react by rejecting a parent after going back to work. While I wish it were the other way around, I am thankful that my Mom is able and willing to do this and it keeps my daughter out of day care for now. Please dont give up. I wonder why this isnt written about or talked about more widely. Yesterday, Xmas day, he passed the whole day following her everywhere! You can also search for adoption support groups and workshops where you live, to connect with other parents in your situation. I just want to know what is going on with my child and why she is acting out like this. But I really found some comfort when I found this thread and read about other parents similar experiences. You are unhappy and your son and you dont have much fun together. Around 12 weeks or so, speak with your boss about the details of your maternity leave. but around the age of 8 or 9 months she just would prefer other peopleshe would go with anyoneI was hurt and devastated. fnaf security breach drawings sundrop. No that he is born she is so pushy, she since birth has whisked him away when he would cry and always play with him more than me and he seems to bond or smile or laugh more with her. I know that it is tough to be rejected and that it is really hard to not take it personally, but try to just love her even more when it happens both for your own sake and her! I feel so down. it is so helpful to hear from others who are in similar boats. Also get yourself a baby sling and carry her around as much as you can while running around. I am worried my baby will have emotional problems in the future ? Since then she went on to refuse bottles, arching and screaming and after 3 months of age it was realises she had acid reflux, she was given meds and eventually this helped. It really hurts. But I only see her a few hours a day when I work (weekdays). it felt so good reading all the posts and knowing that out there, there were so many mums who felt the same as I did. by Margaret e Jacobsen. Hope this gives someome some encouragement Things really do get better with time. However, my daughter seems to want nothing to do with me. Thanks. I strongly recommend you to get it! She was a real daddys girl up to about 3 months ago. It makes me regret being a mother sometimes. A really good book to start with is: The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment. So worried he is forgeting about me. During the COVID-19 pandemic, the number of women in the workforce fell by 500,000 more than men.And in early 2022, Deloitte reported that 53% of women had higher stress levels than the previous year. I hope you've enjoyed today's post! . Planning ahead can make the transition easier. I have a 11 month old little girl. i want to know if this is normal or just a phrae shes going through. What the hell do you expect when you abandon your baby? My daughter is now almost 10 months old and cries even when I walk by. Seventy-five percent of the women Brody surveyed said they wished they had been able to take a longer maternity leave. Ask your employer if something like this is an option. 5 points to consider when deciding whether returning to work after maternity leave is right for you: 1. On with my child and why she is acting out like this is normal or just a baby rejecting mom after going back to work shes through. 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