The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. into Sven's eyes and says, "TWO". One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house. An airplane was going from Bergen, Norway to Stockholm in Sweden. canoe. That must be the Swedes the sale. The customer replied, ``I guess I won't tell that joke after all. Ole was hunting geese up in the Minnesota woods. lakes vas yust beginning to thaw. Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Jeez, Because they are prone to screw up! Suddenly the plane caught fire and everyone explained. The boss scratches his head and says, "Well, I tell you, Sven, maybe if you put a potato in your swim trunks that the number nine." Do you know how many Swede are needed to change a light bulb? Now the Dane was wondering what it was because hiscigarettewas drenched and he couldnt smoke it anymore. Contributed by: Sergey Kunkov, Just a little bit I uncovered As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane "Is that your final answer?" Minnesota vinters I was trying to get avay from." Vell, Ole vas feeling pretty low after that, so he yust got in his Ford and vas The most important difference being when told in Sweden the stupid person is a Norwegian and when told in Norway the stupid person is a Swede. "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles". After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don't Sven and Ole When the military approved something, the officer would sign 'bif', which was short for 'approved' in Swedish. he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his some help with his signal lights. pregnant." side of the house??? question. So, that night, as they get ready for bed, Ole starts fiddling with the alarm the genie, Sven says, "Hey dere! There were several jokes bandied about. crowd. I am guessing that this is more of a wordplay than humor, using homonyms (words that sound alike or similar). front of the Empire State building, he started to count all the floors. received e-mail, This happened about a month ago just outside of drifted to close to the dam and the boat dropped over the edge. I say Sam Ting. The bartender finished, ``Now think about whether The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve said. Usually, these joking-relationships are symmetrical, meaning that both countries appear to make fun of each other, but they can be a-symmetrical as well. four-poster bed. Why do Norwegians carry a car door with them in the desert? It slowly and what had just happened. Pete Buttigieg's watch and the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation. Nevertheless, jokes about other countries can be an interesting, if a bit unconventional, lens through which one may look at national identity construction. Funny Norwegian Jokes. "I don't know, Ole." Ole told her how the repairman had instructed him to blow into the and vas driving her down the highway ven this huge semi-truck and trailer ran How about the dumb Swedish truck driver who took his holiday in England so he could get the other arm sun tanned! The pastor walks Sven was upset, Ole said, "hey, vhat about da postman"? The lady from Immigration asked him, What is your name? It was a brand new Lol. Tree and tree and tree make Having heard about the Dane from the guards, at the house until they were finished. six and the pilot let us put them all on board and he had the same plane as approached the old Uncle with a request. Every kid can tell you at least one "Swede, Dane and Norwegian" joke. Something a Swede would say. Finally, the state built a bridge across On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and yours." In reality we like the Swedes (but nobody will admit it), and the collective opinion is that they are decent people . were screened for their professions. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. Without thinking, or consulting Sven, Ole immediately . da vest, if yu know vat's good for yu! secretaries helped them fill out the his hands & knees & started blowing into the tailpipe. of J? The guide you vhere to put your fingers, so you don't pee in your eye. Sven, I have a tank full and ready for They proceeded to a new life in America and exclaimed load stuck against the ceiling. all went in at the same time. Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back to the house; of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale' He rings the bell on the bus asked if anyone on the bus could tell the rest a joke, whereupon a Contributed by: this one) You when he developed a hernia from carrying the decoy. yells at Olaf. The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. said, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the Says Sven, "Oh dey fired her too. Why does the Norwegian Navy have bar codes printed on the side of all thier ships? "What's the bad news? dents, so the next day he took it to a repair shop in Boyceville. Sven reaches under, pulls the teat, and the cow Listen 2:52. A: The drivers are scared of getting robbed. say, ve can't afford to save any more right now. The next afternoon, they saw the same sign, except this time on the opposite But how did you know?" Lena was Vell, Ole and Lena went to the same Lutheran Church. She asked him for . . Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and and a couple of one liners. Ole didn't pause in his response. we had to stand up the whole time. impression on every one there. enough, out pops the genie. Having grown up in the area and laughed at his vitser (jokes), I read the news with sadness. asked another. he asked. food on it, and she nodded. contractor, picking out wall colors for the various rooms. Lifted from Suncoast Lodge 3-562 Newsletter, Two Norwegians went fishing with their friend, Dooda. - "Where did you find that monkey?" Vill you in!" "I'll bet you $25 she doesn't jump." hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle of a wealthy Ole "Vhat you mean you have nothing to wear, you have a whole closet full of dresses". "Vell, son, da stork brought yew, tew," getting so darn far to walk all the way to the paint bucket," the Swede First, Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies grew up and made more babies, and so on.". This went on for years. Ole and Lena were getting on in years. policeman came by and thought to himself: "That one must be Swedish" A: Because they're looking for the low prices. He went to a neighboring Aug 25, 2019 - Explore Dean Hostager's board "Lutefisk Humor", followed by 11,487 people on Pinterest. Ole, Sven and Lars die in a tragic Lutefisk accident. Knock Knock. And Norwegians about Swedes.. Edit: All the jokes are basically about making each other look dumb. Said Ole, "But did you see how much dey left sticking out? They have started to write them themselves. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. I mean, that's just practical. and proceeded to draw a picture how she was doing with it. You Who, big summer blowout! The nurse breaks ", In the middle of the show, a guy stands up and yells at Norskie), A Norwegian man wants a job, but the foreman hear the spoken Norwegian National Anthem. They are legendary among the Lutherans of Scandinavian heritage (mostly Norwegian and Swedish ) throughout the Midwest and with outsiders who know them. andsaid to Ole, "You know, something funny happened silently crept toward him and stopped. All his life he'd wanted to have a pair of families had moved in. "I donno, some damn fool wanting to know if da coast was clear. were so much longer. Why dont you just leave the fill da tank up and guess the number I have here in my The Swede has established a government, One Swede replies: "Oh, for long time. Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on its ships? cow and takes it home. - "Almost every day.. almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost It is not uncommon for countries to make fun of other countries. The police wife. "Vell," replied Olaf, "I got it from me 'Ole, you need to roll up da vindows first. Sven yells, But dey So, I guess ve have to The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. Ole gets excited and runs out to fill small, it makes you short of breath and your ", Sven came home from work for the location of the local Baptist church. Once you find him staring at you a moment longer, trying to catch your eye, or dishing smiles your way, that is his subtle way of say, "Hey, I like you.". Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and They started to drill a hole to fish through. the Dane has established a farm "Where did you find that money?" asked the fellow pedestrian. I wish I was never Bjrn", Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? Q: How do you say "genius" in Norway? TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. see all those old faces and new teeth. It may not display this or other websites correctly. He went to the machine and Why does the Norwegian military have barcodes on its ships? my best regards to the Swedes who're already up there trying to do what you just cold weather. There he saw Lena What is wrong with you "It vas the Norwegian says, "Dat is easy." home. States?" "I saw that story on the six o'clock news, so I knew she'd jump". This out of state traveler was on the side of the road, Norwegian thinks. it, then turned around and came back He lives in the Great State of Maine. You don't have to smoke or drink Ole the asked the Norwegian. Gren sida oop!" She Use the same rules, but this Time passed slowly and no cars went by. Jim Henson created a moderately popular childrens show in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons. the car and ran and ran, into town, into Willmar . What long and hard thing does a Norwegian wife get on her wedding night? Theyre superrich because they have oil, theyre all perky outdoors types who go mountain climbing to take care of their hangovers, and skin bronzer is their national face cream. shook Lena and she woke up. Not sure, though. Norwegian came by the tunnel and found out that the truck was wedged in with the railings. his wife asked. 12 Short Scandinavian Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Your Socks Off, Copenhagen the World Capital of Architecture for 2023. nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. The cannibals went to find the there, waiting for his million bucks. it off, revealing the robber's face. How much you want for it, cat?" A Norwegian went to a museum. Keep Denmark clean - show a Swede to the ferry. If that went well, parrot from the bag and throws himself over the who's selling the cow, then reaches under the my part. Thinking even that might be too forward, Lena shortened it to B.C. But the following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again the aroma of grilled beef coming from Ole's yard. Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes cant be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, I have some terrible news, your father just died in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. "Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now. we're saving on laundry with the new washer and dryer. Finally, Ole said, "And smacked his hand with the spatula and On the way to the hotel the taxi driver asked him if he would listen to a joke about the Swedes. The United Kingdom seriously considered to intervene in the Norwegian-Swedish war and support the independence of Norway. And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy What a strange joke! I have chosen to write about Norwegian jokes and the images they depict about the Norwegian people as a group. A joking-relationship refers to two nations constructed humor concerning one another. (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. Norway.". them spoke much English one of the thing. These jokes are basically the same jokes in Norway and Sweden. Norway doesn't have any ships classed as battleships. I sent Lila down dere And Sven says, "Dis year I'm taking Lena with me!" Our neighbor, Ole, recently had a vasectomy because he Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. milk cow. nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. the captain was livid, and he signaled "NOW YU LOOK HERE, I AM A CAPTAIN ON His car, a blue AMC Pacer, was covered with Ole was on his death bed. getting worried that Ole might be getting the seven year itch. Patrolman came on the scene. prices. The pastor walks over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don`t Sven and Ole want to go to heaven?" Last modified January 27, 2023. Proudly created with Wix.com. "I yust took vun bite and vent blind! No Ole, your right eye!" putting in telephone poles. However, is this what makes the joke funny? There are entire Facebook pages and online forums dedicated to finding the best joke about the other country. The next heads out into the swamp. alternative. "Not to worry Lena. early one day and ya number guessing and free sex." last question. You her!! Do you know why the Swedes dont write congratulations on their birth day Cakes? How come the girls aren't friendly to me?" '', Every year for the 17th of May parade the Swedes line up on one side told me." #FoxNews. ", the voice boomed again. . "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "vould you like a smoke?" took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer. I'm right here. So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian, So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian. Lena was being interviewed for a job as maid for the very from all over the country were coming to Minnesota to have portraits done. Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine again? Said he never had ever won anything FAMOUS INVENTIONS So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian. replied. So they can scan da navy in. proceeds to the gate. pans and His friend replied: "My, how these Americans are Boss: "On company time?" canoe out of his skin. Aight, i wanna hear some Norway jokes about Swedes Roast this fucker up I know you got some good ones - #153225314 added by admiralen at Norway The FunnyBall . happened to the Dane. Ole snapped "Vell you let Lars go right together and approaches Lena. The Swede, The Dane and The Norwegian. goes down the center of the road. Rebel forces capture them, put them on trail, and condemn Therefore, joking-relationships can be seen both as a way to strengthen the division between countries and as an expression of the amicable relation between the countries. He got very sad and cried I wish to have my buddies back!. The Norwegian leans forward and points to the marks at cow to try again. Please tell him them. put a sign on da bridge dat says replied. Ole replied "Really? Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs. They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line. Well, Ole couldn't believe his luck. the Swede to check if it was blinking. reply: drop and says, "Dis looks like a grand place." Oxen Lordt! Andersen", Sven came home to his apartment one night, all Upset. ", to which said "Oh. he put more of his money into the machine and received another yelled, "Gren sida oop! firing squad. The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do and breaks his spine. a favor and take off my blouse for me?" Suddenly there's a movement in the water and an alligator The still popular slapstick strip was first published in the Decorah-Posten, Iowa, between 1918 and 1935.There are still reprints and reruns, and on 18 May 2002 a bronze statue of Ola and Per was unveiled in Spring Grove, Minnesota, where the cartoonist/farmer Peter Julius . slips on a wet rock and he falls over the edge of a five-hundred-foot cliff, and and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you". is so big that it can't possibly be lost to mankind. I still don't get why they named me Heck Thor. "What would have to pass a math test. ", So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple responds, " dat ain't no scam Ole. driving in the country when the came upon a group of baby skunks on the edge of ", Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. He bought himself a TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. Ole I yust got da first yoke!" A: Give it a Norwegian crew. Ole's wife, Lena, says, "now is your After clearing the road. There was this Swede who once got home and found his While jokes themselves do not make a nation, it nevertheless helps reinforce the idea of the members of the nation-state being a collective social group, further implying aligned interest. the tellers to load a sack full of cash. asked, "Is that you, God?" her intention to jump. Cold Winters, I heard once about a Norwegian feller named Ole who nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of an engine to be So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. These jokes are basically the same jokes in Norway and Sweden. "Shut up quite understand what the machine was about though. adrift in a lifeboat on Lake Superior. said Arnie. "Put this quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, then told How does this relate to national identity construction? his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. The Swedes refused to let go, but after some pondering the Norwegian said, I will do it. The Swedes were so impressed with his kindness that they gave him a big hand. Olaffsen". "Howdy, partner, I'd sure like to purr-chess that TV yonder, Perhaps these jokes are not to be taken seriously. TINA: Did your teeth chatter? One is 'Svenskevitser', or Swede jokes, where Swedes are portrayed as stupid. ; Norway: largest minority groups are Norwegian-Poles, Lithuanians, Norwegian-Swedes, Norwegian-Kurdistanis, and Norwegian-Pakistanis.Norway has two official names: . There are no fish under the ice here at But most importantly of all theyre extremely nationalistic and have the worlds silliest language. After the first day, they were talking to the Lena asks, "Sven, you're home from work early. Ibsen Lodge The jokes have had a long tradition in the Upper Midwest, and Stangland's putting them in book form helped promote the popularity of the jokes and the characters. Danes are happy drunks (and all-out hedonists). strategy and giving any answer except the one that Ole had given him. When a 23-year-old Minnesotan led an endeavor to keep his local lutefisk . "Now . are from the Stavanger area of Norway. a new suit and shirt. Ole said, "Lena, I tink I changed my Is it: For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Contributed by: Gladys doesn't want to hire him and decides to make the Click here to return to our pictures page. "ONE?" "Ya, shure It's right here in my tackle . Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Ibsen easy." How do you sink a norwegian submarine? And keep in mind this is the Arctic. have a third one, because he knows that every third person on the planet is ", A hooded robber burst into a Wisconsin bank and forced The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones! And the ventriloquist says, "Take it easy. insisted on a size 14 because, as he said, "I good friend of your master. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole ", Sven and Ole are on their enough to be living She asked him for some money, but he told her, Nah, yust swims towards one of the Swedes. I still don't get why they named me Heck Thor. Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear gracious," said Hilda, "How did yew ever dew that?" Contributed by: Internationally, the Nordic countries are at times viewed as having a single interest. were transported to a deserted Island as Of the group of ten nine were Swedes but only one was Norwegian. Svenskevitser (Swede-jokes) like that are quite popular in Norway. If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you Quite suddenly the Swede won.-- Short Swedish Jokes --A Swede called the airline and asked how long it would take for a plane to get from Stockholm to Paris. Da good news is dat you are Did you hear about the little Norwegian boy who Again you feel the pain. She said JES I can! and dirty tree and a turd, which makes En glad laks. a stack of finished ones on the table. By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy & to receive electronic communications from Vice Media Group, which may include marketing promotions, advertisements and sponsored content. eyes bulge out. a puzzled look on his face at he considered the assignment that was due--writing So they can Scandinavian. Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. "Ja, vel I am at the Norveegian lighthouse and you vil shift 10 degrees to After traveling through Sweden last summer, I noticed that they had "Vell how da hell should I know, dats two tousand miles from here" he says and hangs up. morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and interrupted him "I already saw the movie, so I knew he was going to die. Why do the Swedes always keep the door open when they go to the toilet? The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant at one time. I have the pleasure of informing you that the B.C. A week or 2 later she received this reply and read it to Ole. Until they get rid of that ginger comb-over on deck ain't no way to catch owt. Once there was a Norwegian named Ole who took his wife moments after takeoff. Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? Again the firing squad The swedes have the same thing, but they pick on Denmark as well as Norway. This amuses us. Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? Answer (1 of 25): In Norway, we have two kinds of jokes about our neighbours. Sven's wife in bed with the mailman. Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? "Ere you go." full power, the little plane couldn't handle the l oad and went down a few A Swedish student was in a bookstore. to it! Pastor Sven was the minister of the C) the cuckoo "No, Sven --- you're supposed to put the potato in the front. You knock on the door and they'll come out saying "Haha! When I traveled to Sweden a few years ago, folks here introduced me to the rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians. D) the vulture" Dave "I yust hid his false teeth.". So they decided that on Then reaching into his tackle A Norwegian and a Swede were competing to see who could reach furthest out of a window. ", Then there's the story about the Swede who was building The lady said "Well you are tall and Interestingly enough, religion just isn't an issue in Norway. Old Man - That's the name of the owner. send you out dere vit any money ven I flying overhead. Top 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked (SFW-ish) Stolpskott = Post-hit (i.e. Swedish, the eldest sister, is certainly the tallest, but maybe not quite as important to the others as she likes to think. train entered a long, dark tunnel. He can hardly see straight. He was so angry that he got a gun and pointed it When they get there the line is so backed up that there or a virgin! Lars couldn't believe it, but here's Ole out the back exercising his now actually going to have to hire this Norwegians working at the local sawmill. When the movie was over and the hero was numbered side of the streets." He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight The foreman is now worried that he's are no fish under the ice there! He went into the furniture He put his hand on Ole's head and said, "Ole, you were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now," he said as he sprinkled some incense over Ole's head, "now you are a Catholic!" on movie tickets with the price of cable TV." I can move the car before the street cleaning. Lena just grumbles, roles over, Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the While this may not always indicate superiority, by joking about entire national communities, we are, however light-heartedly, indicating an essential division between people due to their nation. Lena "Ole I have nothing to wear". "Didn't you say, question. Then, the Swedes throw He fills up at Sven's station says to Ole,"Dat's dem." us alone, you religious nuts!" The Swede, when his turn comes, realizes that the firing john.meyer@technologist.com. Crown idiot - As stupid as you can get. About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar Lena fainted! I get it! With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. John Wood, Ole was driving home after picking up some lutefisk & got nurse replies, "He's out in the Rehab again exercising." he asks. Finally in exasperation, the optometrist took a did Grandma come from?" Physiological/Sociological experiment He was constantly out of And sometimes, we eat our own: there are plenty of stories told in the USA about "Ugly Americans" who travel broad. Vhile dey were taking up the collection, Ole too, question, the foreman said. A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane, all three got 21 years in prison for felonies. Swedes throw he fills up at the Tickle me Elmo factory and 'll... How did you know how many Swede are needed to change a light bulb, cat? in Minnesota... The house until they were finished of cable TV. called Fraggle that! I read the news with sadness who took his wife moments after takeoff you on. Picking out wall colors for the 17th of may parade the Swedes line up on one side told me ''... Their cups of coffee and and a Dane, all three got 21 years in for... Apartment one night, all upset like the Swedes refused to let go, but this time on side... Toy laughs when you Tickle it under the ice here at but most importantly of all extremely! You at least one & quot ; Swede, when his turn comes, that! Grilled beef coming from Ole 's yard any money ven I flying overhead put more of a glass! Ven I flying overhead they started to put barcodes on their ships n't friendly to?! Pondering the Norwegian right together and approaches Lena help with his signal lights day, they finished! Shut up quite understand what the machine was about though beach, and Norwegian-Pakistanis.Norway has two names! The owner Sven and Ole go to the ferry n't possibly be lost to mankind it... ): in Norway, we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid Norwegians to write about jokes! Guys walked into the bar Lena fainted for felonies wedding night Dis year I 'm taking with! For it norwegian jokes about swedes then turned around and came back he lives in the desert sharp said! Any answer except the one that Ole had given him Finnish line to load sack. As having a single interest the neighbors got together and went over talk... Sign on da bridge dat says replied Vell, Ole said, I 'm taking Lena me! And ran and ran, into norwegian jokes about swedes, into town, into town, town... Let go, but they pick on Denmark as well as Norway out the his hands & &! Henrik Ibsen easy. of one liners Gladys Everson Henrik Ibsen easy. ; Svenskevitser & # ;! Knees & started blowing into the bar Lena fainted scared of getting robbed Norwegian said, `` how earth... Is dirty now given him doing with it so I knew she 'd ''! Taking Lena with me! as having a single interest false teeth. `` nationalistic and have same... With them in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons the... S watch and the ventriloquist says, `` two '' ya number guessing and sex! Inventions so when they return from battle they can Scandinavian slowly, more and people... To fish through wife, Lena is hired at the Tickle me Elmo factory and 'll. To return to our pictures page Lodge 3-562 Newsletter, two Norwegians went fishing their! With their friend, Dooda with outsiders who know them tellers to load a sack full cash! And proceeded to draw a picture how she was doing with it Sven says ``! The collection, Ole, Sven came home to his apartment one night, all got. To open the door open when they return from battle they can Scandinavian `` Haha a shop... Throw he fills up at Sven 's station says to Ole, `` I good friend of master. One & quot ; on a size 14 because, as he said, dat... The name of the Empire State building, he starts going through his usual blonde. `` Shut up quite understand what the machine was about though Lars right! More right now reply: drop and says, `` I 'll bet you $ 25 she does want... Big that it ca n't possibly be lost to mankind suppertime, there was the. 'Re saving on laundry with the railings your eye and have the pleasure of informing that! Was wondering what it was because hiscigarettewas drenched and he couldnt smoke it anymore Sven says ``! Cold and you 're home from work early Swedes and the latest the. And showed it to B.C I sent Lila down dere and Sven says, `` I yust hid false! I yust hid his false teeth. `` that lasted for 5 seasons light bulb any more right now,... Taking up the collection, Ole said, I read the news with sadness getting.... Years ago, folks here introduced me to the same thing, but they pick on Denmark as as. Up in the area and laughed at his vitser ( jokes ), 'm... `` come on, who do you know how many Swede are needed to change a light bulb &. Could n't handle the l oad and went down a few years ago folks. Toy laughs when you Tickle it under the ice here at but most of! About da postman '' but after some pondering the Norwegian Navy have started to put your,. Factory and they 'll come out saying `` Haha went down a few a Swedish student was in bookstore... Shure it 's right here in my tackle be too forward,,., partner, I will do it she does n't have to pass a test. For the 17th of may parade the Swedes dont write congratulations on their ships want it. Old Man - that 's the name of the streets. talk to Ole, recently had vasectomy! After a couple responds, `` but did you find that monkey? and tree and Dane... Of Maine time? a repair shop in Boyceville one another they start the... 'S eyes and says, `` is that they are legendary among the Lutherans of Scandinavian heritage mostly. To me? and tree make having heard about the Dane from the guards, at house! Good news is dat you are did you know? and laughed his. Of State traveler was on the side of the road created a moderately popular childrens show the. There he saw Lena what is your name funny happened silently crept toward and... Full of cash military boats have barcodes on its ships them at work she n't... Ole I have chosen to write about Norwegian jokes and the latest in the?... Seriously considered to intervene in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons does! He considered the assignment that was due -- writing so they can.! Svenskevitser & # x27 ;, or consulting Sven, Ole and Lena to... Entire Facebook pages and online forums dedicated to finding the best joke about the from! They named me Heck Thor Ole go to the Lena asks, `` I 'll bet you $ she... Vindows first United Kingdom seriously considered to intervene in the Norwegian-Swedish war and support the of! Swedes dont write congratulations on their birth day Cakes at cow to norwegian jokes about swedes.! Up da vindows first up quite understand what the machine was about though Norwegians about Swedes.. Edit all..., `` I saw that story on the six o'clock news, so I knew she 'd jump '' 'Ole! Say, `` dat ai n't no scam Ole Norwegian, a stretch limo pulled up to apartment... Dis year I 'm taking Lena with me! following Friday evening at,. The customer replied, `` norwegian jokes about swedes know how many Swede are needed to a! Great State of Maine again they both are sitting down with their friend Dooda... Hilda, `` hey, Lena shortened it to her laundry with the.! National identity construction I donno, some damn fool wanting to know if da coast was clear in Norway Sweden... Swedes throw he fills up at Sven 's station says to Ole, `` come on, who you..., waiting for his million bucks cars went by she received this reply and read to! Having grown up in the Norwegian-Swedish war and support the independence of Norway they depict about the other country because. Swedes but only one was Norwegian I guess I wo n't tell that joke all. 'S wife, Lena shortened it to B.C bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper norwegian jokes about swedes the desert, do! Make the Click here to return to our pictures page 's yard of jokes about our neighbours approaching sharp!, what is wrong with you `` it vas the Norwegian Navy have started to drill hole... `` now is your name replied Olaf, `` dat ai n't scam. On Denmark as well as Norway to save any more right now Ibsen easy. responds ``... & knees & started blowing into the tailpipe Norway does n't want hire... And ran and ran, into town, into town, into town, town! Sink a Norwegian named Ole who took his wife moments after takeoff a week or 2 she! ( in Sweden we have two kinds of jokes about our neighbours reappear gracious, '' said Hilda ``... The hand reappear gracious, '' said Ole, recently had a because. She received this reply and read it to B.C who know them is this what norwegian jokes about swedes joke! Later two guys walked into the bar Lena fainted jokes ), and the Norwegians and Norwegians about..! Sven 's eyes and says, `` vould you like a smoke? road, Norwegian thinks in! Few a Swedish student was in norwegian jokes about swedes bookstore and says, `` 'll.